Prayer is a mystery to me. Why does God need me to ask Him to do something He already wants to do and scripture tells me that if He can't find someone who will stand in the gap, He will do it Himself? When I prayed for years for a living marriage and worked it every way I knew - and it still failed, why pray? I'm supposed to listen to what His heart is in any given situation, then pray and ask Him to do what He already wants to do???? Boy, I ask you, does that make any sense at all to my human mind? No! So why do I pray? Why do I love to pray? Why do I resist Him so when He's GOD? I don't know...I am learning - again - that prayer, being with My Father in conversation is what gives me life.
For a very long time my prayer life went "underground", about 10 years in fact. It wasn't that God was gone, in fact in many ways He was very present, but - I didn't pray like I used to - at all. He wasn't angry, He didn't throw me away, He just was there and available any time I wanted to come. I realize when I won't talk to or look at someone that I'm angry and mostly don't want to confront that anger in myself. His grace is amazing! He knew my anger even if I wasn't willing and helped me with it when I became willing.
Since working at Kingdom Causes and being more and more captured by the need and opportunity for prayer, things have shifted in me. Thank You Father...
I'm talking to Him now out loud in private again, I'm praying corporately again, (I love praying with the student leaders at CSULB) and am consistently bringing Brad and Kingdom Causes before Him. As I travel with KC through the City and encounter so many pastors, City leaders, church planters, and school leaders not only in Long Beach, but in the other KC cities as well, something happens in my heart to know I want to lift them into the courts of heaven to make sure my Father sees what I see and works in it as He sees fit. Jack Hayford calls it "partnering" with God in establishing the Kingdom. Me! a partner with God Almighty, the Creator of the whole universe! Amazing....
Which brings me to our KC Second Saturday early morning prayer meeting. Thank you to all who come regularly and thank you to those who have come some. There's something that happens; 1)early with God and 2)corporately with others who love Him enough to lose sleep to be with Him. There is a sweetness in the room that can only be Him and there is always an impartation from Him both corporately and personally. The common comment is, "I wanted to stay in bed, and I'm so glad I didn't."
I think prayer would be easier for people if they could see the results like you can when you hand someone some food or money or service. With prayer it's a totally hidden, faith exercise. I don't know where my prayer goes or what it accomplishes, especially when so many specific prayers haven't been answered according to what I had in mind. I just know that answering His invitation to "come" is the best and that I am always changed afterwards.
I'm extending an invitation to you to join us and be "changed into His likeness" "from glory to glory" whatever that means according to God's heavenly dictionary.
Love to you from Judy
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